spread the love

A year ago I lost you, friend. It's a strange feeling to know that something so preventable cannot be fixed, earned back, redeemed, or solved. A year seems like a solid time to 'get a hold of myself' but I'm afraid this cloud of sadness will loom over all of our hearts for an undefined amount of time.

This weekend I was back to visit. It was a rough few days. There were seldom moments when I was not thinking of you. I often had to turn my head to bit my lip & shed some tears, or leave the room, go for a run; anything to get my mind off the fact that it's already been a year. My heart is still so heavy knowing that I just wasn't able to help.

I am still so blessed with the fact you left all of us with so many people to lean on when times are tough. It's important for us to 'talk it out' versus keeping everything bottled up. Being sad is not a weakness. Letting friends in our thoughts and feelings IS ok and is encouraged. You, my dearest Shaun, are missed greatly. Thanks for all our great conversations, hugs, and laughs.


Open up to your loved ones. Tell them how important they are to you. Be there for them. Listen and Love. and don't forget to laugh.

Ghosts That We Knew - Mumford & Sons

Can't Get It Right Today - Joe Purdy

---- i love you all. 

3 decades

Let's be honest. I've got something special in my life... 

This special 'something' is actually a reaaallly special 'someone'.  She became a big sister when she was 6, and she was my 'sissy' and 'Emmy' for the longest time. (I admit out of the public ear, I still will bring out the old nicknames).

Throughout the years, I have been blessed with so much.
10) Emily played Nintendo with me in the we-hours of the night. She also would take me on 6am walks around the block. (Not sure why we did that, but it was cool back then!... Now that I think of it, instead of my parents making her walk the dog, maybe they were more worried about burning off some of my energy... that explains the leash)
9) She allowed me to get out of bed to get pickles for HER and I
8) She "warned" me about the red killer ants in the ceiling that steal little kids
7) My sweet big sister LET me sit in the cardboard box while she pushed it down the stairs.
6) Emmy convinced me that the cement was dry enough to rollerblade on. (Not true)
5) She has taught me to become a pack rat. She cleaned her room (now, house), and somehow it ends up in mine.
... but seriously!

5) My sister has always been a beautiful individual to grow up along side of.

4) She has set a strong set of values that are admirable and noteworthy, and I find it very intriguing.

3) I'm so unbelievably blessed to have my sissy as a 'speed dial' in order to tell her about my most interesting. sad. boring. weird. exciting story.. or to ask her opinion. She's like my never ending life line. (minus math)

2) It makes my heart smile when people tell me I look like my sister because I think Emily is B.E.A.~UTIFUL!

1) I love my sister. I'm blessed to have her so close to my heart! 

Love you better.

hey ralph

met an old friend today.

rummage tuesdays

I consider today an excellent day; I was surrounded with laughter in class, clinicals, rummage sales, and watching the twins game with friends. Days like this I find myself laying bed with a giant smile painted across my face... and then I realize that it's a bit creepy to smile in the dark by yourself... then I'm giggling... adding to creepiness.

oh yeah, I feel blessed that I found my fall-back job plan: car salesman - sold my honda today!
and another tidbit, I didn't find too many irresistible treasures at the rummage sales.. but the good company made up for it.

Trips to SuFu

The Jaspersons (my favorite set of triplets) came to visit this weekend. Each way, to and from Sioux Falls, they made a pit stop at my grandpa Corky's to visit and to snag some cookies. I know my grandpa wasn't complaining!

I tried entertaining the ladies in between working my weekend shift at the hospital. It sure was nice coming home to familiar faces! It was like a mini dorm, and I loved every minute of it. Between the scavenger hunt and rap video, mom's margaritas, home-cooked food, bedtime stories, and a feisty kitten, I'm hoping I can get them to come back soon.

A date has not been set yet, but I challenged Carmella to a guacamole and salsa making contest in Moorhead this summer. We'll be looking for hungry judges, and I'll be willing to throw in some extra incentives if you cheer(ahem, vote) for team (am)erica! ;)

Chubsters

Oscar the grouch shoes and baby giggles...

side of the road

Well, good morning spring time! You are looking mighty beautiful today.

Why not stop and smell the roses? Well... In my case, why not pull over on the side of the road to snap a few pictures of the flowers? ( I feel as if my sister should be proud )

fav za

I had my favorite pizza tonight: Godfathers taco pizza with Sondra. Obviously, we would order a large plus cheesy bread and monkey bread. Leftovers anyone?

Easter

Tidbits of my Weekend.

• I am beyond blessed to have enjoyed my Easter weekend with my family. 
• I love them all, plain and simple.
• I miss giving my grandma virginia hugs and seeing her smile. 
• I wish I could have been with my Reishus side of the family too. I can't wait to hang out with them, hopefully soon. 
• I can't help but to smile when I think of all our memories our family has together. 
• Memory lane is somewhere we go every time we gather. Yes, the same stories may be retold consistently, but I love it.
• If anything, "ya gotta have fun in life" - my great uncle Rod.

Walks

Walks are neat. This is true especially when they become more exciting than expected. * so the key is to expect nothing ha*. Yesterday while on my walk, I was lucky enough to witness some spring flowers, find $40 on the ground ( granted I had to back track a bit back because I noticed that I must have dropped it ), and I even got to see a lady walking her parrot.. Well, the bird was on her shoulder while she did the walking.

The birds name is Casey, she is 35 years old and loves to talk, although not even her owner understands what she is saying. None-the-less, I love these kind of encounters.

my heaven will have dogs

Nothing beats coming home for the weekend and opening the front door... Im serious! Not only am I opening the door to real food, laundry, and my wonderful family but also to loyalty, excitement, and an extreme amount of tail wagging and toy-squeakers. Knowing someone has missed me that much and is THAT thrilled to see me is very heart-warming. (although it might get pretty obnoxious if people had the same reaction). I love my dog. Life without my main-man Cooper would be less exciting, as would be my phone pictures.

wake up call

There's something about smiling. and laughing. that makes my day a heck of a lot brighter.
I am so blessed with so many people in my life that make me do both. I love it.
So, I thank you.
------
and yes, I did have an amazing weekend with Macy and Cricket!

Did I mention that I had my own personal, furry alarm in the morning? My silent alarm*(see below)  went off, which I didn't hear... but someone else did. Macy woke up, started wagging her tail/butt, which repeatedly hit the bedside table.... this triggered the metal lamp cord to DING DING DING on the lamp. This alarm was one that I couldn't just hit the snooze... her 'snooze' was to let her outside to do her business and serve breakfast. -- Cricket, on the other hand, was leaning more towards sleeping in - She was still sleeping by my side, under the covers.

*silent alarm* - I have a bad habit of hitting the snooze or off button on my alarm without waking up: it gets me in trouble.

dog treats

I'm currently house-sitting where my two *new best friends* live. Their mom and dad went out of town, so all three of us are 'holding down the fort'. Their names are Cricket and Macy. Macy, the golden retriever, loves to show off all her toys and would really love it if I pet her and scratched her ears and belly 24.7. Cricket, the toy fox terrier is a sweetie, chatterbox, and also enjoys accompanying me as a couch potato. Both enjoy a tasty milkbone before bed.

This will be a fun weekend with my new pup-pals, and as usual it will probably go by too quickly. (please note I withheld from using my pun 'DOG-gone good weekend')

SWAT's new? not much.

While sitting behind my apt (shying away from the SWAT team in the neighborhood). I just wanted to mind my own business aka listen to the scanner for updates on the possible gunman. So yet again, I find myself enjoying the beautiful day, while becoming more and more thankful for law enforcement. Suddenly, I found the need to take things into my own hands. I got up. Ran around the garage and yelled, "Knock it off! Someone's going to get hurt.. and I'm not afraid to tell their parents!" They ran away, scared. Problem solved.
... little chumps were throwing rocks over the garage.. and coming a little too close for comfort to my head, cars, windows, MY HEAD!
... mean while, SWAT team is still surrounding a house a few blocks away.

(ps anyone catch on to the title? SWAT's new?... so-what's new? HILARIOUS, i know)

please shine down on me!

Dear mr sun, mr golden sun,
It's March 13th, 2012 and I am propped up against a tree behind my apartment, trying to soak in as much sun as my fair, FAIR skin can handle. 79 degrees is enough said to explain my blessing of the day!
I considered closing my eyes to maybe take a cat nap with the warm breeze as my blanket... But then I remembered the drunken individual with an overflowing shopping cart that passed out back here last week. His arrest deterred me away from closing my eyes.
So for now, I'll just sit... in awe.

warm winter blessing

'Weather' or not it is supposed to be a blustery, cold winter... We've been blessed with an unusually pleasant past few months. Sometimes I think that the increase in temps and decrease in wind chill is because I moved south.. About 3.5 hrs south of Fargo. The fact that I haven't had the need to wear 5 layers of clothing in order to battle Mr Jack Frost says it all (which usually defines my Fargo winters).  I have been proven wrong since Fargo 's winter has been mild as well.

But the more I think about this warm, pleasantly comfortable, blessed winter, the more I think about my Grandma Virginia. It saddens me to know she is gone from the earth, but I know she's still looking out for her family.
Grandma hated the cold. Only good thing about winter was her favorite holiday, Christmas. Otherwise, winter = cold!! You could almost bet your money you could find her hanging out in her tv room, aka the sauna, tucked in with her blanket, nestled in her chair, with the space heater cranked up (and of course a diet coke in hand). Do I believe that this unusual winter has something to do with her disapproval of the cold? Of course! Thanks Grandma! Love you lots and lots.

Photo:  Grandma is in the middle

ralph rogers

It can be difficult to meet people when you move to a different town. College seems to be the best place to meet new friends. After college, the ratio of meeting new people to hang out with to meeting yourself for supper every night is pretty low. Today was different. Today was a blessing!

I had the pleasure of meeting a new friend. His name is Ralph Rogers. I met him while he was galavanting around the yard of my apartment, and I even shared an almond with him.  Ralph may be a squirrel but I already can see similar qualities in him and myself : friendly, but stays at a safe distance, talkative, not too picky about food, short attention span, and spontaneous about where he's going in life.

While walking out the door of my apartment, Ralph and I both noticed each other, stopped in our tracks, and locked eyes. I froze, then grabbed my phone, hoping to capture the moment ( this is what I do every time I meet a new friend...). I ended up snapping my fingers, trying to bribe him with an almond, and making what I thought to be squirrel noises in order to get Ralph to cooperate with the photo shoot. --- While this was happening, a man had been walking on the sidewalk towards me... watching this girl stop dead in her tracks in order to talk to a squirrel. Classy Wednesdays.

survival of the fittest

Operation Dad's Birthday.
Only thing my dad could think of for a birthday gift was a boat.. so I figured a box of beer would suffice. I went for the Bud Light Platinum (vs. his usual Bud Light) just to shake things up a bit.

So this man is my father! I wouldn't just hand him the beer and expect it to be the best of the best... I needed to know it's the best. I needed to weed out the weak. I needed to put all twelve bottles to the test.

I couldn't really come up with a better of a test than the following... While walking into my apartment building, I strategically carried 2 bags of groceries plus the box of 12 beer bottles in my left hand while trying to find my keys to my apartment in my right. The first and only necessary test to prove strength and endurance was to drop the box in the hallway. "Man Down... Man Down!" (You can determine for yourself if I actually did this on purpose or not... ) Needless to say, I was cleaning up glass from the carpet and the hallway has an aroma of "la cerveza".

After wiping off glass and beer from the survivors, I decided they needed some sort of a trophy/protection from any extra glass... I call it "the poor man's koozie". I added a little late-night humor (... sometimes my humor is only funny after midnight). I think his favorite was, "Friends are neat, and so are Buds"

Happy Bud-Day Dad - Hope it's Budtastic. Love you.

riddle me this

Here's a riddle/life experience that I had happen to me today.

In a patient's room, I bent over... and i swear, it was an accident.. .My bottom became noticeably wet.. I walked, a little embarrassed, with my shirt pulled down and tried to keep my back side away from people to avoid them noticing. But in the end... my pants were cleaner than before. What happened?

Answer?
Think about it a little more.
...
truth: I bent over. This caused my butt to activate the sensor on the automatic hand sanitizer... and you thought I actually peed my pants - GROSS!

puzzled

I am thankful for being able to be entertained by puzzles while listening to my Johnny Cash station on pandora. It's a good life, especially when you add some apple pie to the picture.

I also would like to make a shout out to my dead cat Buster... Last time this puzzle was put together was about 15 years ago, which was when Buster was around to eat these small, cardboard pieces.. I'm not even sure why cardboard would be a taste-treat.. Either way, numerous puzzle pieces are missing in action. Buster, you're a bad kitty!!! But seriously, sorry for dressing you up like a baby doll... And putting a diaper on you... And launching you across the room...I'm sorry I took you away from that centipede (but geesh, you didn't have to bite my chin so hard either). Im sorry i put you on a leash and didn't understand you don't enjoy a walk in the park as much as I did... And I apologize for tying things to your tail. And the whole 'bundle baby' fiasco ...

I'm beginning to understand Buster's mindset for eating the puzzle pieces.

dear deer

Dear Deer,
Please look before you cross the street.
Thank you,
Society

Last fall, Kate and I were going to her mom's house on the outskirts of Sioux Falls. We were only going about 25mph, and out of the darkness, pranced a deer... who awkwardly ran into the drivers side of Kate's honda element. Thanks to dear Mr. Deer, Kate had the pleasure of getting herself and her two kids in and out of the car from the passenger side for about a month :)

Ollie is picking up on words very quickly. Last fall, he LOVED saying 'cop car... cop car!', maybe an inspiration from his Policeman-uncle Ryan. We called the police department to report the incident, so about 15 minutes later, Kate was brought back to a police car in order to file the report. Meanwhile, Ollie was getting anxious in the car, so what do I do?! I unbuckle him and we get out of the car to see "mom's in the cop car!" :) one of my favorite moments.

Moral of the Story: Watch for deer on that road... so I do, and a couple weeks ago, I noticed a couple deer on the side of the road by some trees. I slowed down to watch them, then I honked at them... they seemed to ignore me.. therefore I got defensive and a little offended so I laid on the horn. Success! They went into the trees. - At this point, I see a man and his dog on the top of the hill walking towards me.. probably wondering why the world I was honking at him like a crazy lady. I smiled as I drove by. Silly deer.

the man of the hour

Guess who turned 2 today? Ollie! I love this little man. He's the source of a lot of my smiles and laughs. He even cuddled with me the other night before his bedtime - it melted my heart. Watch out ladies, he's pretty smooth! In his spare time, Ollie likes to 'weep' (sweep) ,'acuum' (vacuum), and feed his 4 month old brother cookies. Plus, he's got sweet dance moves!!
Happy Birthday Ollie!

.. let stand for 45 minutes ...then boil

Well, I did it. I broke the record for worlds longest time to make egg salad. I accomplished this by 'boiling' the eggs for 30 minutes on the wrong burner. After realizing that the wrong burner was on, I shut the front burner off and proceeded to move the pot over to the front burner... Notice the next issue? I didn't notice for another 15 minutes. Obnoxious, I know! While waiting for the eggs to boil... 65 minutes... I was able to perfect my, now gourmet, egg salad by adding finely chopped onions, celery, and olives, plus a splash of olive juice. I even had time to chill that mixture before the eggs were done - imagine that! So that's my EGGcellent story of the day. Hoping that next time won't take as long but in all actuality, I'd rather just have my mom make my egg salad.

where you invest your love, you invest your life.

Keep your heart in order to give it away. Find something you love and that you can work towards. Invest your time; work hard to make someone's day. Stand up for the weak. Give your heart. Show someone how important they are, even if you have no idea who they are.

For lent, I want to find something/someone/some place that could use some help/new ideas/a warm smile. I've done some googling and talking to some local folk in order to decide what/who/where. I'm so indecisive, I can't choose!

Something I always have to remind myself and whoever else is... Give something up or take something on in order to see and understand God's love a little more. Don't get it confused with a new years resolution. Don't give up food/pop because it's a healthier choice. Last time I checked, Jesus didn't die for my health and fitness- its a little more than that :) I want to do something to remind me of His sacrifice; to remind me of His love.

I'm blessed to have my faith.

old stomping ground

The two hours it takes to get to Fargo/Moorhead from Watertown seems to take longer the more that I am away. Maybe it's because my radio/cd player is out of order... No matter how many times I hit or kick the dashboard It still won't work- weird right? Either way, no tunes to draw out my bad singing. No distractions. Gives me a time to reflect. Analyze. Just me and my thoughts on the prairie of south and north dakota ... Ok let's be real, I was bored 15 miles out of watertown.

I went to the cmu at MSUM today. I didn't even get out of my car before I had my first reunion. I told a few people that I was going to be there, but there were two reasons that I wanted to go to the cmu right away. 1) randomly run into friends, like old times 2) eat chicken strips, just like old times. I am in love with being back on campus. I'm blessed there are still amazing people on campus or else the chicken strips wouldn't be quite as enjoyable.

Dragon for life.

little blessings

There are two young gentlemen in my life right now. One named Ollie and the other named Augie aka baby cheerio, who I was lucky enough to meet within the hour of his arrival 4 months ago. Unfortunately, Augie is sick and is at the hospital.. Poor little guy! I'm blessed to have him, his older brother, his mom, and his grandmother in my life. I wish I was able to do more to make him feel better. Luckily for him, he is blessed to be at a wonderful hospital... With amazing radiology students.

Fact: I am in Watertown for the night. Chitchatting with the family is always a highlight - just got done spending quality time with my cousin Amanda. I love her lots and lots.

tidbits of my wednesday smiles

I lied: A couple days ago my plan was to pack 100% for the weekend. This was to prevent the morning rush to get ready plus go through my closet to pick out 3 days of stuff in 30 seconds.. I've done this too many times. One time I ended up with ONE very accessorized outfit... and nothing else for the rest of the weekend... and then another time, I had 3 pairs of sweatpants, no shirts... just sweatpants. I'll learn one of these times.

Hearing Loss: I love catching up with old friends. It's always exciting to hear what's new and then also reminisce. Julia and I had a little deja vu on our hearing issues.
E: did I tell you that I got *hives* in december?
Julia : What?!?
E: yeah, for a whole week. They even sent me home from clinicals because I looked so bad.
Julia: {expressions of shock}
E: yep, ended up going to acute care, i seemed to stump the doctors, but they did some blood work, came back to be something bacterial
-----TIME OUT.. this is where Julia realized she had misheard me. Reread the conversation and replace *hives* with *high* --- we got a kick out of it :)

Random Act: I had someone at the hospital let me know she is praying for me. Thank you, stranger!

Rock the Hawk: While trying out the mohawk this week, I walked by a group of nuns. I instantly felt rebellious with such a differing look from the habit that they were sporting. Then I remembered that Jesus is probably diggin my look, especially if I'm behaving myself. I proceeded to wave and smile at the nuns.

hearts

Heart to Heart: Opening your heart to talk to another can be difficult, but on the other hand, it can be refreshing. Open your heart to a friend, Be free. Don't hide. Be honest. Don't lie. Be you.
Follow your heart: I'm doing my darndest, but where is it going??? Just trust.
From the heart: I am blessed that I am loved, everyday.
         From man to dog to God.

hahahappy monday!!

The good case of the Monday's: It's been brought to my attention numerous times that I have a variety of laughs. Some even have names, i.e. the old man, which sounds more like a wheezing attack. Some are worthy of being made fun of, i.e. the cackle... the extreme inhale... but I have to say, no matter which laugh, 99% of my laughs are genuine. (I do have a sympathy laugh that I have to break out from time to time). I love a good laugh. I love that a laugh will brighten the mood. I love that it's contagious.

       I'm blessed with a sense of humor. I'm blessed with the love of laughter. It's not uncommon for me to judge the day based on how much I laughed. Today was a fantastic day. I laughed and laughed and laughed with my classmates... correcting papers has never been more fun in my life... I laughed with an old friend on the phone, I giggled while on facebook, and I will admit I chuckled at myself during zumba tonight... I'm pretty sure my classmate Sondra was laughing at me in zumba also.

I had a Happy Monday. I think tomorrow will be terrific as well. Taco Tuesday and then margaritas may have somewhat of a (huge) influence on how terrific it actually will be. 

Peace out, Monday. Bring it, Tuesday.

week/ends

Weekend: Technically, today is the end of the week. Tomorrow starts a new week: neat how that works right? Would I be exaggerating if i said i was anxiously waiting for the next weekend? nope. 
Agenda for the week: 
Monday: twiddle my thumbs.
Tuesday: 1/2 price margaritas.
Wednesday night: pack... everything.. I have this new habit of not completely packing, so I end up wearing the same thing for 3 days, wearing other people's clothes - thanks em and jos! or else mom takes me on a shopping trip to Target. thanks mom! BLESSED :) 
Thursday night: Hustling back home to eat supper with the family. 
Friday/Saturday: Fargo bound
Sunday: I'm hoping I won't have to twist Grandpa's arm too much for Sunday morning pancakes. 


Random fact #1: If I counted correctly, I'm already 22 weeks into the radiology internship. 
Random fact #2: I got really home sick for my dog today. I took a detoured way home after work, and I bet I saw 15 dogs having fun without me. But to keep this relevant, I'm so relieved that their owners are blessed enough to have a furry best friend. 
    (cooper and ike, if you're reading this... 4 more days until we can play, eat bedtime snacks and cuddle)

zoni pies and tats

2/11/12
Zoni Pies: Saturday's blessing consisted of trying Zoni Pies -- a taste treat introduced to me by a tech at the hospital. Thanks Erica. Sincerely, Erica. --- You know what's fun? Walking into patient's rooms and saying, "Hi, We're Erica from Xray" 


Tattoos: Had my first blind-babysitting gig tonight. Nonetheless, I was more impressed with the Dad's never-ending tattoos than intimidated of his never-ending muscles stacked on his biceps..holy, wow.. I consider myself lucky to have met his family, and that I didn't make him mad. 

let's be real.

Let's be real. I have blessings in my life that I need to be more thankful for. 
It's easy to be wrapped up in the thought of "I wish I had that... I would be happier if I was like this... 
I have an idea that If I start "counting my blessings" on a daily basis, I might find a new outlook on life, I might see something from a different perspective, and maybe I'll reorder some priorities. Or maybe this is just another excuse to be on my loyal 5-year-old macbook. <--blessing
So without further ado, I introduce to you:

My day-by-day, ongoing list of blessings: 

2/9/12 ...Blessed with Distractions: My Netflix has perfect timing and started working on my tv again. 
...Silence: I have a silly habit of ignoring my thoughts. I'm blessed to have silence in order to start listening to myself... because I'm pretty sure I have a lot to say to erica, mainly jokes, but maybe some important things too.
...Support: I have people in Rochester, Sioux Falls, Watertown, and Fargo that have proven to give me words of wisdom (w.o.w.) whether I think I need it or not. I think I need to start another note called, "W.O.W. from you to me" but for now, I'll leave you with my last w.o.w. of the day i received, "never take cold medicine with alcohol"


2/10/12
... Blessed with a giggle: My friend Kate has two kids that I'd be happy to kidnap any day: Ollie, who will turn 2 in a couple weeks, and Augie, who is 4 months today. Ollie and I had a haircut date: same time, same location, but not the same style. With or without a new haircut, Ollie has the courage to go up to any lady and make sure they notice him. Today, Kate and I had to laugh because Ollie was wining and dining with an elderly woman at the salon. He wanted to share her cup of coffee and was willing to share his butterscotch sucker.  
*Always remember, Sharing is caring!!! (but Ollie... please don't forget about "Stranger, Danger!")
... Family: I GOT TO EAT SUPPER WITH MY SISTER AND BROTHER-IN-LAW. blessed. 
... Warm: I cursed a little under my breath on my way to my car... but I shouldn't complain; I have heat. I will warm up tonight, some people can't say the same.